


Infinite Regret

by linguisticallycunning



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Related, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Regret, Self punishing captain, relentless borg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-07-28 06:56:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20059882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linguisticallycunning/pseuds/linguisticallycunning
Summary: Set during and after the episode Infinite Regress, KJ finds herself in an awkward position thanks to one of Seven’s other personalities.NB: If you are not familiar with the episode, Seven is experiencing a sort of Borg multiple personality disorder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This popped into my head watching infinite regress when I should have been sleeping last night. Just a little fluff to tide you over.

Infinite Regret

  
Janeway couldn’t bring herself to leave Seven’s side, not with the onslaught of new personalities at uneven intervals. It had been difficult to keep up with the shifting aliens and other humans filtering through Sevens features. It was disturbing and endearing and thoroughly disconcerting. Trying to mate with B’Elanna was one thing. Kissing the captain, well that was something else entirely.

  
It wasn’t as though the beautiful Borg hadn’t crossed her mind, but always with chastisement on her own part. Seven was part of her crew. Off limits. For a million reasons and more. And the captain abided, suffering the occasional cold shower. She could never entirely succeed in banishing Seven, especially from her dreams but she was certainly not dreaming.

  
Seven had kissed her. And maybe she wasn’t Seven at the time. But Janeway wasn’t certain. Not at all. All she knew was it couldn’t happen again. As it was, she’d kissed her back. No amount of ration and control could stop her and the feeling of it had seared into her memory. She tried to push it back, down, away, any place but her mind’s eye. So that’s exactly where it drifted.

  
Seven was only getting sicker though. There was less and less of her present and Janeway was into full crisis mode before long. She hated problems without solutions and so far every attempt had failed. It wasn’t until Tuvok stepped up, risked his life and his sanity, to save Seven.

  
The mindmeld provided far more of intimate knowledge of Seven then Tuvok was prepared to deal with. Once he reached her, that is. It took immense effort to quiet the riotous voices, but once he did, the scope of Seven became quite clear. Not much surprised the Vulcan but the depth of Seven’s emotional development was far more advanced than he would have supposed. Tuvok suddenly found himself in a quandary, at once wanting to protect his captain as well as Seven’s privacy.

  
He found her in her quarters. She was out of uniform, wearing Starfleet issue sweats and drinking whiskey, Irish, neat. It was nearly 2300 and Tuvok knew he was intruding. He nearly excused himself. But he also knew Janeway did not drink whiskey lightly. It was not his purview to intervene on emotional matters. But the situation was more serious than he’d first thought. From the look of Janeway, it was more serious still. But she cut him off.

  
“I don’t want to know,” she gazed up at him softly. She was sitting on the couch and looked exhausted. “I am fine, old friend. I just need sleep. I appreciate you checking up on me. I know what it took for you to come here tonight.”

  
And just like that, he was dismissed. There was no logic in arguing otherwise.

  
The captain finished her whiskey in one gulp. She rose and and stretched, feeling the full effect of alcohol as it coursed through her blood. Her head was heavy and she conceded to go to bed. It was no use though. As soon as she closed her eyes, Seven was before her. It happened three times before she reached for the emergency hypospray in her dresser drawer. The Doctor had prescribed the sedative and usually she was loathe to use it but enough was enough. With one clicking hiss, she found herself drifting towards a dreamless slumber.

  
Except it was anything but that. The kiss lingered, inflaming her unconscious mind as it played over and over with no conclusion. Interspersed were images of Seven drifting into space, lost to her. She awoke many hours later in a heap of sheets and sweat and guilt over dreams she could not remember. Only the fleeting image of Seven, drifting ever farther away from her, remained in her mind. The captain shook her aching head and fought her way out of bed.

  
Moments later, Janeway stood beneath the icy spray of the hydro-shower, trying in vain to wash away the lusty images from her stubborn mind. But the kiss lingered even as her toes went numb. The kiss lingered and she regretted it wholly. Regretted that it happened. Regretted that it couldn’t happen again. Regretted the perfect knowledge it had held. And she most of all regretted being unable to change those facts.

  
The towel was rough against her chilled skin and she was rougher still, moving choppily through her morning routine. She tried to focus on the ship, the day, anything else but when the chime on her door rang, she knew it was Seven.

  
“Come,” she said. She was nearly dressed, wearing all but her jacket. The four golden pips gleamed at the edge of the grey turtleneck, pulsing ever faster with Seven’s arrival. Her hair was still damp as well and Seven soon felt her own pulse increase exponentially.

  
Seven entered silently and the door slid shut behind her. The captain was at her replicator, her drug of choice already in hand. She turned towards Seven and was about to offer her a drink, but the words froze in her throat. Instead she stared, narrowing her eyes at Seven, her expression unreadable.

  
“Captain,” Seven said, breaking the growing tension.

  
“Good morning, Seven,” her voice croaked back, still thick from sleep and last nights whiskey. “To what to I owe the honor?”

She regretted it the moment it left her lips. She had a fairly good idea what had brought Seven to her quarters at 0630 and she was not prepared to have that conversation. “Can I get you anything?” She fumbled, filling the silence of Seven’s non-response.

  
Seven stood before her, the kitchen counter between them, but she still did not speak. Instead her eyes raked over Janeway in a truly unprofessional manner causing the redhead’s stomach to jump and her respiration to increase. Satisfied with her experiment, Seven took a step around the counter, now just a few feet from Janeway with nothing between them.

  
The Captain was still barefoot which Seven hadn’t anticipated. It jolted her senses further and before impulse control could step in, she’d closed the distance between them, kissing Janeway with such force the good captain dropped her coffee. Again, Seven noted, the captain had kissed her back. Before jumping quickly away. That had happened the first time as well. This time Janeway stooped to retrieve her now empty mug and mop the pool of coffee. She was red faced and breathless but the regret was already working full force. Seven continued to stand, observing her.

“That was not a different personality,” Seven stated flatly.

  
“Seven,” she began as she placed the coffee sodden rags in the recycler. “I—I am your captain,” she fumbled. “I regret—I am not free to-“ she was making a mess of this. “I can’t Seven. I’m sorry,” and with that she turned her back on Seven, facing her empty replicator. Regret oozed out of her very pores. She could no longer face Seven. She needed her to go, go now.

  
Seven was not about to be put off so easily. She might not understand exactly what she was feeling, but she was definitely feeling it. And she had felt it returned twice now. There wasn’t a protocol in the galaxy that would make that untrue. So instead of leaving, she walked up to Janeway and wrapped her arms around her from behind, pinning the captain’s arms to her sides.

Janeway struggled at first, hating feeling confined against her will. But as she inhaled sharply, she realized that perhaps it wasn’t actually against her will. She should mind. She should struggle. But instead she let the weight of her body rest back against Seven’s taller form. She was fighting the mounting waves of arousal and she was failing in every possible way.

Seven felt the Janeway’s resistance slacken as their bodies fitted closer together then they’d even been. Their hearts were both pounding, being in such close proximity and Seven was momentarily hypnotized by the quickly synchronizing rhythm. Then she spoke.

  
“Regulations and protocol,” she said quietly, “would have deemed me unworthy, would have likely airlocked me or at least imprisoned me. Regulations and protocol would have doomed Kes, would have abandoned countless crew. There is a time and place for your protocols, and I will regret if you make me one of them.”

  
Janeway was stunned, her heart beating out of her chest. She froze there with Seven holding her tightly, as she reached for a fitting response. Suddenly she felt a drop splash the back of her neck. And then another. She squirmed around in Sevens arms until she faced her and saw the trail of tears for herself.

  
She must be insane. But the sight of Seven, tear-streaked, fearing ultimate rejection, strengthened her resolve.

  
“I regret what I will have to tell Starfleet,” she said making Seven’s heart jump once more. Then she pulled the taller woman down, towards her waiting mouth, kissing the full, quivering lips, and savoring every iota of Seven’s shock and desire.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I thought I could finally have a T rated story but it was not to be! You guys asked for it so I hope you like it. It’s PWP all the way.

Part Two

The kiss was searing, their lips smashing into each other. Just like the first time, Seven’s tongue began to trace the outline of Kathryn’s lips, begging entrance. Unlike the first time, Kathryn parted her lips quite willingly, her tongue immediately tangling with Seven’s. It was a cascade of sensations, so much more, as they clung tightly to one another. Kathryn’s hands traveled down from Seven’s long neck down her still longer spine. Seven shuddered, using her hands to pull Kathryn’s hips towards her own. Their hands seemed to keep pace with their roaming tongues until Kathryn pulled back, panting hard. Seven was breathing erratically as well. They were still standing awkwardly in front of the replicator.

  
“Captain,” Seven said breathlessly.

  
“Kathryn,” she replied, taking the still bewildered Seven by the hand and tugging her towards the long couch. Seven suffered a brief spasm of disappointment that they did not move immediately towards the bedroom but any contact with Kathryn was thrilling, causing the thought to ripple away.

  
Now seated side by side on the couch, Kathryn turned her head, clearly trying to think. Seven took the opportunity to place her hand on Kathryn’s leg, just above her knee. The uniform material was rough beneath Seven’s fingers and she could just feel the heat rising from The skin beneath. When she was wasn’t immediately rebuffed, she let her hand slide slowly higher until she heard a sharp intake of breath, then she smiled wickedly as Kathryn put her hand atop Seven’s, halting its delicious movement. Kathryn’s grey eyes locked on Seven’s, desire swirling between them.

  
“I have to be on the bridge in a few minutes,” she sighed, clearly disappointed at the timing. “And there are some things we should probably discuss.”

  
Seven arched her eyebrow at the last statement but waited for Kathryn to continue.

  
“We can only be like this in private, ok? Especially for right now.”

  
“You wish to keep this secret? Because Tuvok—

  
“No! Not secret, but just for today? Until I can see you later this evening? Shall we say 1900 hours, we can have dinner here?”

  
“I find that acceptable,” Seven all but purred.

  
“OK good, because I really do have to get to the bridge, and I really need some coffee.”

  
Still holding eye contact, Seven moved incrementally closer to Kathryn’s face and before she could react, Sevens lips surprised her once again. And once again, the kiss left them both flushed and breathless. Then Kathryn stood, regret etched across her fine, freckled face. She reached for her jacket, awkwardly stretching around Seven. She struggled herself into it, Seven smirking all the while.

  
“Don’t you need to be in Astrometrics?”

  
“I do, but I have time to escort you to the Bridge on my way.” The Doctor’s social lessons did have a few good cues.

  
“How chivalrous of you,” Kathryn blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet as Seven rose from the couch in one smooth motion.

  
They left the Captain’s quarters in silence, seeing no one in the corridors. The turbo lift was blissfully empty as well, causing Seven to push her new found luck. She was rewarded with a quick kiss and a warm palm pushing her back. Seven smirked again. The the doors opened onto the bridge. Janeway’s face was still glowing scarlet as Seven continued onto Astrometrics.

The day was absolutely crawling by. It was thankfully calm, but that did not make the time pass, in fact it seemed to have stopped all together. It hadn’t really but the endless stack of reports certainly made it seem so. She yawned, looking at it, and then headed to the replicator. So much coffee, and still she yawned. And then thought of Seven. And later with Seven. She just had to make it a few more hours. Then she would be having dinner with Seven. There was something unnerving in that thought, something entirely out of her control. She was glad to be alone in her ready room as she felt the now familiar flush spread over her entire face. Totally inappropriate Kathryn, she tried to chide herself, but it was no use. Just a few more hours left.

Seven was not having much success concentrating in Astrometrics either. She was unaccustomed to this feeling of utter distraction. It was extremely un-Borg but she could not keep her thoughts from Kathryn for more than a few moments. Kathryn’s smell. Her touch. Her—Seven of Nine! But it was no use. Only one hundred and sixteen minutes to go.

The door chime shot a bolt of energy straight up Janeway’s spine. Her heart pounded so loudly that she barely her herself say, “Come in.”

  
Seven entered, dressed in a simple white dress shirt that gave way to a fitted pinstripe pencil skirt. Her long legs stretched all the way to the floor, finishing in a pair of sparkly, kitten heels. Kathryn stared, struck dumb by the open top buttons of the shirt and loose, flowing blonde hair. And let’s not forget the bouquet of red roses Seven carried awkwardly in her arms. She walked closer to Kathryn, handing her the flowers, and was surprised when she received a peck on the cheek in return.

  
“They’re beautiful,” Kathryn said looking down at the flowers before looking back up at Seven, “almost as beautiful as you.” This caused Seven’s cheeks to flush a bright red that quickly spread all the way to her hairline.

  
Kathryn, for her part, had fallen back on her old standby little black dress. She was again barefoot, time having sped up alarmingly the moment her shift had ended. Seven’s eyes raked over her. She smiled at the bare feet, raising an eyebrow and stepping out of her own shoes. Seven’s eyes traveled up Kathryn’s shapely bare legs to the hemline that began mid-thigh. Her eyes followed the silhouette of the dress higher as it curved around the turn of her hip, before traveling still higher to the slightly plunging neckline. She got stuck there, not realizing time was elapsing, until she felt Kathryn’s fingertips beneath her chin, tilting Seven’s face towards her own. She was smiling as she kissed Seven, and suddenly all thoughts of a civilized dinner dissipated without a trace.

  
Kathryn dropped the flowers on the table behind her and kissed Seven, harder, faster until they were backing up blindly, their limbs tangling together. It became impossible to move and continue to touch. Seven was categorically efficient, even when it came to pleasure. She quickly swept the smaller redhead off her feet, carrying her to the bedroom in only a handful of strides.

  
They should slow down, Kathryn thought fleetingly as she suddenly found herself tossed on her bed, still fully clothed. Seven’s plan seemed to have stalled at the sight of the bed and whether it was nerves or inexperience, Kathryn couldn’t quite tell. A shadow of doubt threaded across Seven’s face as she stood at the side of the still made bed. She was looking down at Kathryn. Her white shirt was untucked and her hair was wild. She was frozen.

  
It was Kathryn who rose to her knees, pulling Seven to her. Slowly, so slowly, she began to unbutton the dress shirt. Seven shuddered as Kathryn shucked the cotton from her shoulders, revealing a lacy red bra beneath. Kathryn’s fingered the deep red straps before ordering her hands further, lower, until she found the zipper of the skirt. The pinstripes, too, fell away, revealing the matching red panties, just the color of Janeway’s flaming face. Who knew the Borg knew so much about lingerie?

  
Kathryn stared at the vision before her, a Borg goddess, clad in red silk and lace, blushing as only a human could. The black dress felt tight, constraining, and she twisted to reach the zipper but Seven was faster. The blonde was regaining her confidence and her fingers were cool against the heated skin of Kathryn’s back. The dress hung loosely as they stared at each other in the half light. Then, as if they suddenly pressed play, they both moved, Kathryn to whip the dress from her body, and Seven to quickly take the place of the dress. She fitted her long, smooth body around Kathryn’s hairpin curves. The feeling of their skin meeting was intoxicating and for a long moment, they just luxuriated in the velvety softness of it.

  
Seven began to kiss Kathryn wherever she could reach, biting her neck, tasting her shoulders, tracing an uneven line southward. She was halted momentarily by the black satin of Kathryn’s bra but that was quickly removed. Seven was unprepared for the effect the pebbling nipples would have on her pulse. So distracted was she that she did not notice that Kathryn had removed Seven’s bra as well. There was no room left between them, especially not for conscious thought, and instinct took over completely.

  
Taking full advantage of Seven’s momentary halt, Kathryn continued to assert herself from below, snaking her bare legs up around Seven and using them to effectively knock the taller woman sideways. Seven snapped out of her hypnosis as their bodies tumbled together. Kathryn was laughing then kissing her again. Seven was overwhelmed, by sensation, by emotion, by the feeling of Kathryn’s teeth raking over her own aching nipples! She was not prepared.

  
Kathryn was not prepared either, not for the silky smoothness of Seven’s skin, the musk of an almost metallic saline rising to meet her nostrils, enticing and arousing her still further. Her hands roamed in wonder as her mouth explored the joining of flesh to metal and metal to flesh, the last scarred vestiges of Seven’s borgness. The skin around the implants proved to be incredibly sensitive, nothing like scar tissue at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite as Seven writhed beneath Kathryn’s questing tongue, becoming less coherent with every lick, every nip. But Kathryn was on a mission and she moved still lower, encountering the scarlet covered pants once more. Using her teeth, she grasped the top strap and pulled slowly downwards until the panties were a distant memory.

  
Now it was her turn to be awestruck by Seven, her mouth watered as she kissed her way back up a long thigh until she lay between Seven’s legs, completely ensconced. She shuddered with pleasure as Seven began to moan. Her control only lasted a moment, the second she tasted Seven, she was a goner, out of mind and body. Her tongue lapped, strumming in circles, pulsing ever lower, ever deeper, as Seven’s muscles began to spasm all around her. She thrust two fingers forward as her tongue flicked black to the engorged ridge of Seven’s clit. Her fingers pushed deeper, entrenched in pulsating velvet, her tongue whipped wildly as Seven screamed and thrashed above her. She thought for a moment that she could die like this, crushed between the inhuman strength of Seven’s thighs and she could be ok with that. But with one sudden stroke, Seven’s whole body went rigid and suddenly Kathryn felt her face awash in Seven as the waves of orgasm overtook them both.

  
It took a few moments for Seven regain her vision and another to reach, a little haphazardly, for the sweat slick skin of the woman still between her legs. Her body was still quaking with aftershocks that continued to overwhelm her. Kathryn rose up languidly but as she looked up at Seven, her motions quickened until they were suddenly side by side. Seven buried her face in Kathryn’s shoulder as doubt began to prickle against her damp skin.

  
“Seven,” she whispered, almost fearing the response. She shouldn’t have.

  
“Oh Kathryn,” Seven rumbled in feral tone her captain was most unaccustomed to hearing. Before Janeway could rectify her judgment, Seven was upon her.

  
In the moments it took Seven to regain her vision, her cortical node had helpfully sorted through her vast knowledge of alien species and human physiology. She smiled as she growled her desire, pinning Kathryn with little effort. She could no longer hold back as she lowered her mouth to Kathryn’s and was greeted by a bruising kiss. There was so much still unsaid between them but their bodies were determined to close that gap. Seven released Kathryn’s wrists that she’d been holding above her head. This caused Kathryn to reach for Seven’s hips, pulling them to her. She slotted Seven’s smooth thigh between her own legs and watched as Seven’s face registered the feeling of damp cotton against her skin. Seven leaned in as Kathryn moaned. The friction of the textile grinding against her skin was intriguing but Seven needed still more of Kathryn. She moved to reach the panties and was suddenly facing the swell of Kathryn’s freckled breasts. They were too ripe, too perfect to ignore and Seven allowed herself the detour.

  
Kathryn screamed in ecstasy as Seven sucked one of her painfully erect nipples between her obscenely full lips. Kathryn opened her eyes to watch as her nipple disappeared completely into Seven’s smiling mouth. She was unprepared for the bolt of pleasure that wracked through her as Seven met her widening stare. Seven’s mouth was electric and every nerve in her touch-starved body was suddenly alight. It was too much and not enough. And she had no control. Seven was making that clear with every slurp, every bite, every hickie she left on the long forgotten woman writhing beneath her.

  
She wouldn’t beg. She’d never begged. Never even thought of begging!

  
“Please Seven,” she heard her voice, unbidden, pleading. “Oh, I need you,” she moaned, not caring how raw her desire must sound.

  
Seven stilled her motions and looked up. Her eyes flashed.

  
“You need me?” It wasn’t a question.

  
Sensing the challenge, Kathryn met the flickering sapphire eyes.

  
“Yes,” was all she said.

  
“I would like to hear you say what exactly you need, Captain,” those eyes flashed again as Seven let her fingers rest on the edges of the sodden panties, just pulling them barely from the skin.

  
Janeway whimpered, completely against her will, and steadied her gaze.

  
“I want you, Seven,” she inhaled sharply, “I want you to fuck me, please.” That was no answer, it was a command and Seven responded in kind, ripping the useless panties away and straddling Kathryn properly.

  
Her mouth found Kathryn’s and they began to kiss, slowly at first, their naked limbs fitted together, lost pieces of an old jigsaw puzzle. Seven angled her thigh, pulling her muscles taut as Kathryn began to grind against her in earnest. Her hands now grasped Seven’s shoulders but Seven’s lips had not left her own. Seven’s hand had moved, quickly and unnoticed. Seven then moved her leg, causing a grunt from impatient Kathryn. At the same moment, her long fingers reached their mark and as they parted the sodden thatch, the grunt was replaced by a full throated moan as Kathryn finally broke their kiss. She fell, arching her back and thrusting her hips into Seven’s lightning fingers. Never had she been so aroused, her head spun as she quickly lost herself to Seven’s rhythm.

  
Seven’s own pulse pounded as her fingers moved lower. She slowly thrust two fingers into Kathryn’s dripping cunt, bringing them both to the brink of orgasm. It was so unexpected, this crazy exhilaration, this instantaneous bond, that Seven looked wide-eyed at Kathryn. She looked back, awestruck and unblinking, and Seven slid her fingers still deeper. She began to thrust as Kathryn began to buck against her. The moans became grunts as Seven added a third finger. She was thrusting hard now as the sweat built between them making their bodies slick. Kathryn screamed, her motions frantic as Seven’s thumb found her clit. It was too much and she clung to Seven, rising higher and higher on the tide of it before they were both crashed down on the sand, drenched and burnt and spent.

  
Seven lay haphazardly across Kathryn’s body wondering how she could have had an even greater orgasm from just touching Kathryn. Kathryn, on the hand, was trying to remember her own name. The sweat was just beginning to cool when Kathryn finally opened her eyes, pecking Seven lightly on the lips. Seven smiled and rolled to the side, freeing Kathryn’s tingling limbs and giving her a better view of the spent redhead looking utterly relaxed. It was a new look for Seven to experience and one that Kathryn hadn’t worn much in her life. In fact her face had never looked quite the way it did just then. Seven had no way of knowing that but memorized it nonetheless.

  
“Wow,” was all managed. She turned her eyes to Seven and felt alight with the spark dancing even higher in the blue flames of Seven’s eyes. “I—I—that was, you are perfection.”

  
She waited for no reply as she leaned over and kissed Seven before nestling her head under Seven’s chin.

  
“Kathryn,” Seven whispered. “This is love.”

  
It was a statement, not a question and Kathryn wasn’t sure the response but Seven continued.

  
“I love you,” Seven said, her grip tightening around Kathryn’s still bare shoulders.

  
“I love you too, Seven.”

  
Just then Kathryn’s stomach chose the inopportune time to roar it’s discontent. Seven rose up in half panic causing Kathryn to erupt in a fit of giggles. She grabbed at the edge of the sheet and pulled it back onto the bed and over their now chilled bodies.

  
“I’m starving Seven, aren’t you?” Kathryn’s eyes sparkled in the half-light. “And I believe I still owe you dinner.”

  
“Acceptable,” Seven smiled. Then Kathryn jumped up and with a peck on the cheek, she scurried away. She came back a few minutes later bearing a tray and carrying a set of pajamas. She was wearing an old academy T-shirt and nothing else. She placed the tray on the chest at the end of the bed and tossed the pajamas at Seven’s gaping face. Seven pulled the T-shirt over her head and looked from Janeway to the tray, unsure which she’d rather devour first.

  
“Don’t look at me like that, Seven!” But it was too late. Seven pounced and Kathryn pounced right back.

  
The tray lay forgotten, the food safely hidden beneath its stasis lids. The new lovers got to it eventually and in the end, fell asleep tangled in each other’s limbs, completely naked.

  
As for the crew finding out, well, there was no amount of dermal regeneration that could cover the line of hickies surrounding the captain’s collar, and there was no filter to block the pyrotechnics whenever their eyes met. Mr. Paris was about to have the biggest payout of his life, that is until Tuvok swept in, confiscating his ill gotten gains. The Vulcan felt no need to confirm or deny the suspicions, he knew well enough to leave this one alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wouldn’t have been written without the comments on the previous chapter. Cheers to all of you that liked and commented.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always for kudos, comments, or any feedback you’d like to toss my way!


End file.
